So, file this under bizarre. Who in their right minds is going around blowing up portable toilets? What kind of sick world are we in? It appears that in San Francisco there is a ‘toilet torcher’ – with more than two dozen toilets on San Francisco construction sites being set on fire in recent months. Evidently the Clorox Company is also offering a year’s supply of toilet cleaning products & $5,0000 in exchange for tips on the culprit.
So why do I bring this up? Because some things are sacred! You don’t just go around torching toilets! I have been making a fine living out of (and in) lavatories! Check my superior artistic endeavors in my series of videos called ‘Lavatory Occupied’. Whoever is doing this should get more prison time than Martha Stewart! Lavatories are necessities – used by every single person in the world. Ever been to a Def Leppard concert and needed to go during intermission?
It seems to me that once caught…. being known as the ‘toilet torcher’ is not all that glamorous. It is not exactly like ‘the kissing bandit’. Yes, the Brits named Guy Fawkes Day after someone who tried to torch the Houses of Parliament, and some criminals have become celebrities from doing misdeeds…. but the ‘toilet torcher’? You have to figure that for $5,000 and a year of Clorox, someone is going to rat out the guy. Damn it, I wish I knew the culprit…..I would love a year’s supply of clorox!
Whoever you are – stay away from the damn lavatories – I MIGHT BE IN ONE!!!! Last time I checked it was illegal to blow up a pornstar. Besides, what would people like George Michael do if you blow up a meeting place?
Beam me up Scotty – these people are blowing up the toilets!